Had a bride and groom pass through the doors this week and I just had to share. If I hadn’t seen the sarcastic sense of humour in it (and wished I had only dared be so bold myself!), well, probably just as well the M-In-Law stepped in.
Wording provided for the wishing well cards –
Our friends have poor taste
And seem to love trash
So instead of crap presents
We are asking for cash!
So now you have had your giggle for the day I think it’s time to talk wishing well cards.
“Wishing Well Cards – Do they offend?”
To ask or not to ask… is the dilemma that most couples face as they debate the issue of whether or not they should ask their guests for cash gifts in lieu of a wedding gift and how to go about doing this without offending anyone’s feelings. This is where wedding wishing well cards come in. A wishing well card is a graceful solution to this common wedding conundrum.
What? You Don’t Want A Wedding Gift?
Receiving two or even three of the same item as wedding gifts is a common scenario (I actually got the joked about 3 blenders) that most bridal couples face and this is not surprising. The intentions are great but it can backfire if a couple of guests think the same way or if the bridal couple does not need or like the gift.
Getting unnecessary gifts is something that is more common today than it was a few years ago as more and more couples live together before getting married and already have a household full of items commonly given as wedding gifts.
If you are hosting a destination wedding, you are going to be even less enthusiastic about receiving gifts as you would still be stuck with having to haul it all back home.
Wishing Wells are a Graceful Solution
Ideally, you would love to receive cash gifts for your wedding. Nothing is more flexible than cash. It allows you to decide to buy the household appliances you need or use the money towards the wedding expenses or even towards your honeymoon. This is far better than having to make do with something that you didn’t like or just didn’t need.
Now to get the message across. Believe it or not, most guests will actually be relieved, it gives them an easy option.
However, there are many people, especially the older generation, who will feel offended at being asked to give cash instead of a traditional gift. They believe in gifting something that you will hopefully treasure for years to come instead of giving something as impersonal as cash. Navigating this minefield without appearing crass will require alot of diplomacy. The best way to do this is by sending out wedding wishing well cards to your invited guests.
Wedding Wishing Well Etiquette
Wedding etiquette definitely frowns upon coming right out and blatantly asking guests for money but there are more discreet ways of informing guests of your wedding gift preference. Here are a few dos and don’ts to keep in mind if you are planning on sending out wedding wishing well cards.
- Do Not make any reference to any type of gifts in your wedding invitation and definitely do not mention cash gifts. If asking for money is your plan, at least use a seperate card. Yes, it is more money, but if you must, think of it in terms of ‘return on investment’. Don’t tie the invitation to a cash amount by putting it on the invitation.
- Do tell your guests how you have decided to spend the money. Will you be using it towards a honeymoon cruise or to set up home or perhaps to pay off the wedding expenses? Your guests will be happy to know what the money will be spent on. It makes them feel involved.
- Do include an option with either a gift registry or write a little note that says you are happy to receive any gift that they may prefer to give.
And them, in my opinion are the rules! Yes, every etiquette rule books says DONT DO IT. But you are going to do it anyway so you may as well DO IT RIGHT!
After that it’s the fun. You can hire cute wooden wishing wells, create decorative treasure chests to match your decor, glass vases – quite frankly anything that can hold the envelopes stylishly will make a great and easy solution. Place your “wishing well” by the front door of the reception, near the guest book. This will limit the photos of you and hubby with greeting cards being thrust in your face. It is also a good idea to let the reception venue or one of your bridal party know about the wishing well. They can clear it once everyone is seated and put the funds in a safe place until the end of the evening.
On our website we have a wishing well card to match every design and offer 12 wording suggestions plus 3 for Honeymoon Funds, 1 for Charitable Donations, 2 for Gift Vouchers and 6 for the fashionable new Birdcage craze. Course, you can easily provide your own!